Good job capturing the emotion of lifeless objects
First of all, you did a fantastic job at capturing those subtle emotions one might feel if they find something intricate/interesting/beautiful stored away, alone in the dark.
*After* reading the description, when the music starts I envision the following:
The cello/synth string notes with the bass drum at the very beginning represents light flooding a dark room after a nameless individual opens the door. The jubilant, springy character of the strings at this point suggests not only light, but a personification of the once lifeless objects metaphorically revived by the light. The objects in this room are happy to be seen.
The music progresses by repeating this repetitive melody while 'layering' new instruments/rhythms/and melodies on top of it. This helps to elaborate the initial musical idea. To me, all of the things you add to your initial motif suggest that this is a room full of many miscellaneous things. Perhaps it is a storage shed, a workshop or a garage. As the texture grows by layering, it's like the listener is walking deeper into the room and seeing more random items.
The repetitive element of this music works for me because of these images. It might be possible to add more variation, especially harmonic variation. But beware too much variation. Music that is not repetitive at all is confusing.
What you do at... 1:34 is great. That change finally gets us away from that repetitive beat from the beginning. To me, there is a sense of sadness, as if the listener is considering leaving the room and the 'stuff' inside will have to disapear into darkness once more, which they don't want.
The listener however, is not especially excited to be in this room (this room is closer to a normal garage full of personal belongings than some thing fascinating/colorful like an ornate tomb. )
However, curiosity prevails and the listener stays in the room for a while longer to snoop around and see what random stuff is contained therein.
Because the listener is not in an ornate or fantastical room, it is okay to have the music repeat with the exact same character as the beginning, so I don't suggest changing the ending much.
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My biggest criticism is the repetition in this music. The same motif drones for a minute and a half in the beginning before anything changes. However, you did manage to make good use of your ensemble and make that repetition very colorful.
But when you finally do change out that repetition for new ideas (at 1:34), you don't develop the idea long enough. My basic instinct says it should be at least twice as long, and build into the repeat more gradually than it does. You need to determine the exact length yourself to get the right balance in your piece, but I definitely think that 'section' is too short.
Also, this was fantastic ending with a fadeout! It works perfectly. The listener leaves the room at a slow, walking pace, closing the door and leaving everything in darkness. The reality of all of the 'stuff' in the room fades into a memory and is soon forgotten.
...But instead you chose to fade into an actual ending. Not only that, the ending you did fade into was incredibly unsatisfying. Irritating, even. I suggest you ditch that ending and make the music just fade into silence.
Piano Trio in C# Minor